Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

Kas’s POV

I wake up in the morning feeling stiff and sore. I slide out of bed with a groan and look in the mirror. Even more than yesterday, I don't recognize the reflection I see. Pale skin with dark bags below my eyes. All the violet from my irises is gone, replaced by a gray so light, it could be mistaken for white. I gently run a brush through my brittle, thinning hair. It is no longer gray and glittery. It's turned into a dull shade of white that matches my eyes.

I put on a loose dress and a heavy long cardigan to hide the joints protruding from all my angles before I go out to address my sisters for one last time before escorting them to Kardia tou Manae.

When I first met Lenora, bruises from my nose being broken upset her. What she would think now at my self- imposed deterioration. I turn to the side and admire my growing belly. I let myself smile when I feel the impatient little kicks coming from inside.

I spend time with each team of sisters and make sure they are still on board with the plan before I introduce the Mavri Magea they have agreed to help rehabilitate. Most of the Mavri Magea are grateful for the opportunity. Some are indifferent and others, as expected, are defiant. I create a portal and take each group to the Kardia tou Manae apartment we assigned them to and show them around the common areas they will use as they see fit. I give them instructions on how to come and go from the facility and place protective spells over everyone before I go.

When it comes time for Desiree and Leticia to meet their new support teams, I sit with them in their rooms and carefully explain my expectations as their Leader. After I'm certain they won't cause any problems, I remove the hexes so Desiree can speak again and give Leticia her mouth back.

“Kas, what if there’s no hope for me,” Leticia cries into my shoulder, reluctant to go with her new team of sisters.

“Leticia, I have faith in you. Mother would not have sent me on this quest if she didn’t think there was hope for you,” I embrace her and pat her back, “No one is saying it's going to be easy, but I know you can do it. Hopefully, when I come to visit, you will show me a ton of progress. Make me proud to be called your Leader.”

She wipes her tears away and looks me over, “I can't believe what this has done to you, Kas. If you change your mind and want me to use my abilities, I’m sure I can help you.”

“No thank you, Leticia. I have accepted my fate for this lifetime. My physical appearance is only a small part of who I am. My spirit will heal and that’s what's important.”

After leaving the last group in Kardia tou Manae, I portal back to the apartment and sit on the sofa.

“Well, old friend. Your work is done,” I look around and address the eerily quiet apartment directly, “You have done a good job and I thank you. I have one more spark of magic in me. You can rest now.”

I hear groaning and cracking of wood and the popping of nails as the apartment closes in on itself from the far corners. When I see the edges of the sitting room disintegrating, I create one last portal and step through.

kk

“Luna?” the guard says with his mouth hanging open when he sees me standing on the other side of the front gate to Blood River's pack territory.

“Hello, Sam. Am I still welcome here? It’s cold and I would like to go home,” I say, making sure my cloak doesn’t expose my frail features to him. I pull the hood down lower to hide my eyes, “If this is no longer my home, I can find another.”

“Oh Luna, I’m so sorry. Of course. I...we thought...I mean...I just...” he runs into the guardhouse and pushes a button, allowing the gate to slowly swing open. He rushes out and takes my hand, helping me over the snow and ice into the guardhouse.

“Thank you, Sam,” I smile at him as he sets me on the chair next to his desk.

“Jamie! Link the Beta and Gamma. Hurry!” he says to someone as he grabsa heavy wool blanket and wraps me in it.

“Why? What'’s...Oh my Goddess!” the other guard exclaims as he peeks his head around the corner, “Luna, you're...”

“Hurry, Jamie! I'll get another blanket.” I watch as the guard named Jamie's eyes glaze over when he sends a mind link. Sam comes out of a back room with another blanket and wraps it carefully over my lap. He is very sweet, asking if I’m sure I’m alright and if I want some hot tea.

After about ten minutes, I see an SUV pull up to the guardhouse. Milo and Reggie jump out and come running inside.

“Kas?” Milo says tentatively when he sees me. He kneels down in front of me and pulls the hood of my cloak back. His face contorts as he sees my transformed features, “Wh-What happened to you, Little Sister?”

“Please don't be scared, Milo. I look like this because all the magic is gone. All of it and more. I had to use my part of my spirit to make things right. There aren't even any more abilities. I’ve used them all up,” I try to smile, but it turns into a frown. For the first time in months, I can feel tears turning my cheeks wet, “ I'm so sorry for what happened to Lenora but I-I've taken care of it. Something like that won’t ever happen again.”

“We found your binder, Kas,” Reggie steps forward and kneels next to Milo, “ We know what you had planned. Does this mean it worked? Are you here because you created that place?”

I try to speak, but my lip trembles and sobs start coming out instead. AllI cand ois nod and put my hand over my mouth. All the hard work I have put in over the last four months, all the emotions I pushed down, every moment I dedicated to other people, putting my own needs and wants aside, get released in a giant wave of emotion.

“I'm so sorry. I had to leave. No one was supposed to get hurt, Milo. I swear,” I cry, not being able to contain it anymore. I feel Milo’s hand take mine and he pulls me into his lap and holds me tight.

“I will not forgive you, Kas. You did nothing wrong. Nothing I need to forgive you for,” Milo says as he rubs my back. I feel him stop and he pulls me away from his body, “Shit, Little Sister. You're so skinny.”

He pulls the blankets away and lifts the cloak over my head. The four men in the guardhouse stare at me in awe.

“You're so...” Reggie murmurs.

“Pregnant? Yeah. I know,” I chuckle between my tears and place my hands on my belly, “Twins. One, for sure, is a girl. I don’t know about the other.”

Milo immediately points to the two guards, “Not a word of this to anyone. If people know she’s even here, let alone pregnant, your Luna’s life could be in danger. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Beta,” they reply in unison.

“Come on, Little Sister,” Milo says and wraps the heavy blankets around me again, “Let's get you something to eat. Reggie and I will see if we can talk some sense into your mate.”

Reggie picks me up and carries me to the car. He sets me in the back seat and buckles me in before taking his spot on the front passenger side.

“Talk sense into Bronx? Milo, he broke our bond. He doesn't want me as his mate,” I say once we are driving. I do my best not to let my voice quiver at the thought.

“Yeah, but you didn’t accept the rejection. Did you?” Reggie asks.

“Well, no. I guess I hoped I could convince him to change his mind” I lean back and close my eyes, letting the heat of the car warm my cold nose and cheeks.

“Exactly. Things have been...well...not good, Kas. You know how he can be. Think of that but like times a bajillion,” Milo looks at me through the rearview mirror, “He isn’t the same guy you knew when you walked through that portal four months ago.”

I look out the window at the passing frozen woods, “Whatever he decides, I've accepted my fate, guys. As long as my pups are safe, it doesn’t matter what happens to me. I know Cora will be born soon and I will have done all I could do in this lifetime.”

“That sounds so morbid, Kas,” Reggie turns in his seat and looks at me, “It’s going to be okay. We'll keep you and your pups safe, but first order of business is to get you a grilled cheese, a banana, and a protein shake.”

I can't help but smile when he includes the protein shake into my first meal home, “How are everyone else's pups? How are Codi and Katie?”

“And Musu’s pups, Inez and Deago. They were born before the Solstice. Wait until you see Katie, Kas. She looks just like Ashley,” Reggie beams.

“And Codi is doing a lot better than you would think,” Milo says, “I’m sure you must have heard about Katherine. Ever since then, she is back to being like a regular toddler. Still interested in kittens but we can’t all be perfect.”

In the two miles it takes to get to the packhouse, I fall asleep. When I wake up, lam in Milo’s apartment on the sofa, covered by three heavy blankets. There is a grilled cheese sandwich, two bananas, and a milkshake on the coffee table. There is also a note that says ' Don't leave this

apartment’

I can't remember the last time I ate much of anything, but I have little sense of taste these days, so the few bites I take of the grilled cheese aren't nearly as satisfying as I hoped. I put it back down and pick up the milkshake instead while I wait for Milo and Reggie to come back.